About me
Once upon a time, a friend of mine graduated university and set off into the world of being a real software developer. Somewhere along the way he wrote a piece which was featured by his company, focusing around something called “Imposter Syndrome”. Little me didn’t know what the heck that was but I congratulated him nonetheless for being featured. When I did look into the meaning, I was so confused… why would someone so smart who has a whole computer science degree feel like they can’t code or work well?
Fast forward a few years and it’s my turn to graduate university! Never failed a course, completed a co-op, had fun in the challenging courses, I should be brimming with confidence and ready to get a real job. .. right?
Absolutely not.
To my surprise, upon graduating, I felt like the greatest impostor of all time. SFU must have mixed my name up with someone else’s because why on earth did they give me a CS degree. Did I complete all the requirements? Yes. Did I do all my homework? Yes. Did I finish all my exams? Yes. Does that mean I deserve a degree at the end? No. Why not? Because I’m not sure if I even know what a for loop is??? (jks yes I do)
After graduating and due to the impact of the pandemic, I found myself with a kind of weird yet unique opportunity to reflect on my skills as a software engineer. And so, I took a deep dive into self-assessment and realized that while I had acquired a strong foundation through formal education, I felt that something important was still missing. Thus, I embarked on a relentless journey, immersing myself in online courses, exploring new programming languages and development domains, undertaking side projects, and doing leetcode everyday because God forbid I don’t answer a technical interview question correctly on the first try. It started out as an incessant pursuit of perfection, and while I don’t think anything is impossible, I’m not sure that exists in programming.
Gradually, it changed into something invaluable.
This dedicated learning journey not only expanded my technical capabilities but also instilled in me a deep sense of passion for continuous growth and improvement within the world of tech, and within myself. This, along with having confidence and compassion for myself as I grew, was that important missing piece for me.
While the circumstances of the pandemic may have temporarily disrupted my immediate entry into the industry, they provided me with the valuable time and perspective shifts needed to solidify my commitment to becoming a highly skilled and knowledgeable software engineer. By acknowledging and embracing the learning process, I have gained a greater sense of confidence and readiness to take on new challenges in the world of software, as well as other areas of life. Growth is forever, but I’ve finally reached a place where I'm excited to leverage my newfound knowledge and continue my professional journey with a growth mindset and a strong desire to excel.
Okay and yes, maybe making this diary entry into a website is still a bit of that perfectionistic ego wanting to prove that I know how to make a website. But through it I learned that web dev is pretty cool. Everything I learned post-uni was cooler than I thought it would be. So while someone out there may be like ’nOw YoU gOt A tImE gAp On YoUr ReSuMe’, actually,
I learned how fun and expansive coding can be. And I learned how to be my own friend, which I would definitely trade in my fraud degree for 100 times over.
Also… honesty is nice. If anyone is reading this and made it to the bottom, hi 👋🏽 I hope someone gives you a cinnamon roll out of kindness this week ☺️